Tuesday, May 27, 2008

And You Thought You Knew It All..

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great King from history:
Spades - King David,
Hearts - Charlemagne,
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds -Julius Caesar

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honey moon.

In ancient England, a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got
consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F...U...C...K... (with the other letters
in!) Fornication Under Consent of the King" on it. Now you know where that came from.

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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Monday, May 26, 2008

Chat With God

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not
happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart
provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of
discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret! Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.Trust me. Life is
wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!"

SMILE!!!

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Sunday, May 25, 2008

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

Send this to bright, funny women you know and make their day.. WE ALL NEED
TO SMILE !!!

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Expired Credit Cards

What somebody would do with expired credit cards...

Scene 1:
Friend goes to the local gym and places his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, comes out, sees the locker open and thinks to himself, "Funny..I thought I locked the locker...hmmm", dresses and just flips the wallet to make sure all is in check. Everything looks ok, all cards in its place.

A few weeks later, his credit card bill comes. A whooping bill of P140k! Calls up the credit card company and starts yelling at them saying that he did not make the transactions. Customer care personnel verified that there is no mistake in the system and asks if his card had been stolen. "No" he says. Takes out his wallet and pulls out his card. Yup! You guessed it...a switch was made!!!

Another similar (same type -- master/visa from the same bank) expired looking card was placed in the wallet. The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.

Verdict? Credit card issuer says since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to still pay the amount owed to them. Why were there no calls to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' in credit card companies. It just so happens that the small amounts amounted to big ones!


Scene 2:
My dad at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card. The bill came, he signed it and the waitress folds the receipt and passes the credit card along. Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, he actually just took a look at the card and lo and behold ... wrong expired card of
another person!

He called the waitress and she looked perplexed. She took it back, apologized and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of my dad. All the waitress did whilst walking to the counter was she waved the wrong expired card to the counter cashier and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card. No exchange of words... nothing.... She took it and came back to my dad with apologies.

Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet is yours! Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and the card is taken away for even a short period of time. I believe many of us would just take back our credit card without even looking at it, thinking that it has to be ours. For your own sake,

DEVELOP THE HABIT TO CHECK YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME YOU TAKE IT BACK.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

The Face of God

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.

Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't see some rain soon...we would lose everything.

It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose.

I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort ... trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods.

This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house. Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him).

He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose.

As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down.

I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.

I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift cup, as the sun beat down on his little back.

And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands.

When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him. His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job.

I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...and more drops...and more suddenly joined them.

I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride. Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. Those miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.

I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon... But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Now That's God

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?

THAT'S GOD! He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?

THAT'S GOD! He wants you to speak to Him.

Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?

THAT'S GOD! There's no such thing as coincidence.

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford.

THAT'S GOD! He knows the desires of your heart.

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it?

THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.

DO YOU THINK THAT THIS MESSAGE WAS ACCIDENTALLY SENT TO YOU?
NOPE!

Please pass this along and share the Power of God. In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM Thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.

NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!

Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is.
Tell the storm how Big your GOD is!

GOD LOVES YOU!

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Interesting Facts...

Enjoy these wonderful and amazingly hard to believe facts.

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
3. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
14. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
15. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history : Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne ,Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
16. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
17. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
18. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
19. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
20. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? (Ans. - All invented by women.)
21. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is it? Ans. - Honey
22. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
23. A snail can sleep for three years.
24. All polar bears are left handed.
25. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
26. Butterflies taste with their feet.
27. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
28. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
29. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
30. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
31. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
32. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
33. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
34. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
35. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
36. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
37. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
38. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
39. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU DID TRY LICKING YOUR ELBOW...

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Miracle of a Brother's Song

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.

They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love
with his little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required?

Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her", he kept saying.

Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care.

Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed."

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line, "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister" she stated. Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.

He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray."

Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulses rate began to calm down and become steady.

"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.

"Keep on singing, sweetheart."

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms." Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

"Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

The next day, the very next day, the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song. The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.

Life is good. Have a Wonderful Day!

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Monday, May 19, 2008

John 3:16

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "you go down the street to that big white house and knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in."

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said, "John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son." She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?" He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food," The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16... Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. "Do you understand
John 3:16?" she asked gently. He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it,"

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16... I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die.

I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.


John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father." Pass this on only if you mean it.

I do Love God. He is my source of existence. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Phil 4:13 If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you, send this on.

1) Simply say a small prayer for the person who sent you this,
"Father, God bless this person in whatever it is that You know he or she may be needing this day!"

2) Then send it on to ten other people. Within hours ten people have prayed for you, and you caused a multitude of people to pray to God for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life for doing the thing that you know He loves.

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Sunday, May 18, 2008

Lotus Totus

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me! You have 6 minutes. There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Totus has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so far.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name-calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Now, here's the FUN part!

The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Send this to at least 5 people: your life will improve. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Do not keep this message.

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Feng Shui Horoscope

Take a couple of minutes to take this test and see what happens! If you are honest, this tells the truth - it's pretty good. Write down your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating! The answers are at the bottom.

1. Which color do you like the best: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

2. What is your first initial?

3. What is your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Which one do you like more? A white-sand beach resort or a mountain resort?

8. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one). When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat)


Answers

1. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down

2. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future lovelife looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you'll fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but you will eventually find your soul mate.

4. If you chose..

Black: Your life will take on a different direction. It will seem hard but it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:

White-Sand Beach Resort : You like adventure.
Mountain Resort : You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next Birthday!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

Why It's Hard To Find Mr. Right

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank
God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.


NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's the women's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."


SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

10 Ways to Know If You Have "Estrogen Issues"

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving? Call 1-800-"

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."

8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

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