Nice Prayer for New Mommies

Let Me
By Michelle Mariotti

God, please do not let me miss those moments that I could have spent with my child. Let me carry him more often and feel his tiny body gently wrapped in my loving arms. For someday I will not have the strength to pick him up anymore.

Let me hold him close to smell his freshly washed hair and breathe in that wonderful baby scent that covers his delicate skin, for surely he will not smell this deliciously sweet for very long.

Let me enjoy changing his diapers for this gives me the chance to play with his miniature toes, tickle his tummy and make him feel comfortable. Someday he will ask me to leave and shut the door behind me claiming he can manage by himself.

Let me take more walks with him in his stroller while I can look down at his little face that is staring in wonder at this new world all around him. Let me do this often, for soon he will be able to walk on his own and leave the safety of his carriage.

Let me stand beside his crib at night for longer than a moment to watch him surrender to his peaceful slumber. These nights spent in a crib will be replaced soon enough by a much less cozy place for dreams.

Let me make him laugh every day. For I am sure the precious sounds of his first giggles are apt to change with time.

Let me delight in each and every milestone he reaches. Before I know it walking, drinking from a cup and other small miracles he has learned will seem ordinary.

Let me tell him how much I love him. Since there are bound to be times when he will not want to sit still to hear this.

Let me continue to listen attentively to him even after he has mastered the art of talking. Since people tend to listen less closely to a child once language becomes fluent.

Let me make time for peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake and other baby games. There will come a day when he will no longer want to participate in such childish antics.

Let me learn to enjoy the sound of him calling me "Mommy" even if it is yelled through the dripping of tears. For one day I will no longer be "Mommy" to him, but rather just "Mom."

Let me be the world to him right now because as every mother sadly comes to realize, their babies soon discover the world outside of their mother's arms.

Let me do these things and so much more, despite being busy, tired or overwhelmed because I would hate to look back and harbor regrets of times gone by that were lost to less important things than my son.

Yes, dear Lord, I want my son to grow up to be a strong, loving and intelligent man, but please Lord do not let this happen overnight because someday memories will be all I have.
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Just Five More Minutes

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground.

"That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

"He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the blue sweater." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son.

"What do you say we go, Todd?"

Todd pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."

The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son.

"Time to go now?"

Again Todd pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

The man smiled and said, "O.K."

"My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, "My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get five more minutes to watch him play."

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities?

Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today.
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The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty... scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.
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And God Said No

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to spare me pain...
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"

If you love God, send this to ten people and back to the person that sent it.
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What Goes Around, Comes Around

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.

One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
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Girl Talk

Did you know that -

1. Kissing is healthy

2. Bananas are good for period pain

3. Its good to cry

4. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better

5. 94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers

6. Lying is actually unhealthy

7. You should only apply mascara to your top lashes

8. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you!

9. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed!

10. 89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move

11. Chocolate will make you feel better!

12. Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing.

13. A good friend never judges.

14. A good foundation will hide hickeys

15. Boys arent worth your tears

16. We ALL love surprises!!

Now.... make a wish!






Wish REALLLLLLY hard!!!






WISH WISH WISH WISH


























Congratulations!!








Your wish has just been received






Send this on to ALL your girlfriends in the next 15mins and...












Your wish WILL BE GRANTED.






That's a promise!
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Medical Definitions

Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a, e, i, o, u

Caesarean Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing
CAT Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Cortisone - area around local courthouse
Cyst - short for sister

Diagnosis - person with a slanted nose
Dilate - the late princess
Dislocation - in this place
Duodenum - couple in jeans

Enema - not a friend

False Labour - pretending to work

Gall Bladder - bladder in a girl
Groin - to mash to a pulp / smile

Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greeting to several males

Impotent - distinguished, well-known

Labour Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - person without toes
Liposuction - a French kiss
Lymph - walk unsteadily

Menopause - I no wait
Microbes - small dressing gowns

Obesity - City of Obey

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain

Red Blood Count - Dracula

Secretion - hiding anything
Semen - sailors
Serum - sailors drink
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Suture - Gujarati for "what do you want"

Tablet - small table
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The Darwin Awards

"A NOT QUITE" AWARD goes to:

Orlando Sentinel - Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome.......

Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies up'd the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.

Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.

AND THE NOMINEES ARE:

9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look.

He was also wearing military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.

7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals.

After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police made a closer inspection of the couch and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit of putting his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.

5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.

4. A 22-year-old Reston man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,"
Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."

3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalised.

2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the Gas Company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked.

Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.

AND THE WINNER

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had located a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.

He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long and straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts, as best as could be determined, are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron nearly reached Mach I, attaining a ground speed of approximately 420 mph.
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Marketing

The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING and people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed,"

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed,"

That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" .....

That's Junk Mail.
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The Best Resignation Letter Ever

Actual letter of resignation from an employee to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

___________________________________________


Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers.Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options.

You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
Cecilia
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Nurture Your Secret Life

"Your assignment is to clean the toilet everyday."

Many years ago, I was part of a celibate brotherhood. And on my first daythere, an older brother gave me my assigned chore: toilet cleaning.

"I don't know how to clean toilets," I muttered meekly, "Can you teach me?" "Let's start with the toilet bowl," he smiled, as he grabbed a sponge, sank his hand into the toilet water, and started scrubbing the insides of the bowl.

Believe me, every hair on my body stood on the end and my innards shook violently. "Gee... uh, I recall Mom using a stick..." I mumbled, but he interrupted, "But this cleans it so much better," his forearm almost disappearing inside the Throne.

With his hand still dripping, he handed me the sponge and said, "You want to try?" I almost choked and wondered if God could take my life that second."Okay..."

I held the foam as manly as I could. Being at a loss for words, I started praying in tongues. I plunged my hand into the water, and realized that my state-of-life discernment was over. That very night, I was going to escape the brotherhood, and get married.

But the days became weeks, and the weeks, months. I cleaned that toilet for a whole year. And I began to love it. It became "my toilet" and "my sponge." I'd have withdrawal pangs if I didn't clean the toilet in a day.

Indeed, the celibate brotherhood taught me the meaning of The Secret Life. You see, I was already preaching in big prayer rallies at that time. After such events, people took my pictures, got my autograph, and... hear this... tried very hard to shake my hand. Oh, if they only knew what I held just a few hours before.

My "public life" was symbolized by the microphone. But my "secret life" was symbolized by the sponge. And it put me in my place, keeping pride away from my heart.

I love Bill Hybell's definition of "Character." Character is who you are when no one's looking. It's easy to be a disciple in front of an applauding crowd. But when no one's looking, was I still a disciple? Thanks to my sponge, I had an answer: Yes!

I remember one Saturday night. We had a big feast and all the brothers washed the dishes together. We even sang happy songs while soaping, rinsing, and drying.

That night, I was soaping. I was removing a stubborn food particle stuck in a fork when I noticed something about the sponge in my hand. It looked oddly familiar. I gasped. Because I knew my sponge! What was it doing here in the kitchen? Just to be sure, I rushed to the toilet and opened the cabinet under the sink - the usual place where I stored my sponge. It wasn't there.

I entered the kitchen hesitantly, wondering whether to tell the brothers or not. But I saw them singing and happy. How could I break their cheery mood?

So I decided to join the singing, get my sponge, and soap the few remaining plates. (To this day, I have never told them what had happened that night. When they read this article, they will kill me.)

I have a question for you: How's your secret life? Who are you when no one's looking? In the unspectacular, mundane, routine of your day?

I tell you. Nurture your secret life.

_________


I believe that on Judgment Day, God will give me a 365-room mansion in heaven.

And when I ask him why the lavish reward, I'd expect Him to say, "Because of your preaching to thousands," or "Because you founded a Home for the Elderly," etc.

But instead, He'd say, "For each day you cleaned that toilet with love in your heart..."

------Excerpt from Bo Sanchez's book " You can make your life beautiful" ------

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Test Your Eyes

Count every "F" in the following text:


FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT
OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY
COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...


How many "F"s did you see?


























.... 3?


WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !


The reasoning behind is further down.








The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.! And keep them occupied
for several minutes..!


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Everybody Stop Dusting!

"A house becomes a home when you can write "I love you" on the furniture."

I can't tell you how many countless hours that I have spent CLEANING! I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect -"in case someone came over". Then I realized one day that no one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

Now, when people visit, I find no need to explain the "condition" of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun. If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Life is short. Enjoy it! Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake a cake or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

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Brain and Beer

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.

When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

===============================================

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's just as good as they're going to feel all day" ~ Frank Sinatra
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Pride and Joy

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.

The first guy says, "I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday."

The second guy says, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a traveling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third guy says, "Well, well, well congratulations! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq. ft mansion specially for his friend."

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of their sons.

The fourth friend who earlier had gone to the restroom, returned and asked, "What's going on? What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three men said, "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons." And then he asked, "What about your son?"

The forth man replied: My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said, "What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel."

The forth man replied, "No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq. ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends."
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I Resign

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&M's are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So...here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause....Tag! You're it!

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Updated Employee Handbook

DRESS CODE

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may
buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict
3 minute time limit in the stalls.

At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

LUNCH BREAK

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain
their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink
a Slim Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive
employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week!
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The 20th Wedding Anniversary

A wife wakes up in the middle of the night, and realizes her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too," she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."


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Words of Wisdom

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

2. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

3. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

5. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7. Faith is the ability to not panic.

8. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

9. The most important things in your home are the people.

10. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He
can untangle the knot.

11. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

12. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

13. We do not remember days, but moments. Life is moving too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

14. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.

15. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

16. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage.

17. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle --it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

18. Life is uncertain; eat the dessert first.

19. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
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How To Stay Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?

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Let It Go

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, if they came out from us, it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to.. LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains... LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge .. LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"

During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only One minute!) All you have to do is the following: You simply say "The Lords Prayer" for the person that sent you this message:

The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us
not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever. Amen.

Next, you can send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more people will have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of people praying for others.

Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him. If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the instructions! Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before My Father" If you are not ashamed, send this message...only if you believe.

"Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do everything, Christ is my strength. God loves you and watches over you every day.

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Profound

READ THIS VERY SLOWLY...... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.

One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow" and in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift...Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

To those I have sent this to... I LOVE you and cherish our friendship.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
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Think About It

Read each one carefully and think about it a second or two...



1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.



2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.



3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.



4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.



5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.



6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.



7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.



8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.



9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.



10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.



11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.



12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.



REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.


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Cake or Bed?

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light, now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

The wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

"Fine," she says, "then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

"I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out.

As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

"Honey," he asks, "how'd all this get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs and all I had to do was either to go to bed with him or to bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooo?!? Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forhead? I don't think so!"

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Mathematics

MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling
me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU
KNOW CAN HANDLE IT!

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Mastercard Wedding Commercial (For Real)

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family. He thanked his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy picture of his bride having sex with the best man!

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride and said, "F---you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge - making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends......................$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion.......................................$3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui..........$8,500.
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man..........Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy....for everything else there's MASTERCARD.

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Love Through The Years

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's,arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, and that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had goose bumps on my arm. I had to hold back tears as he left, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

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Time

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

"Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

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What Month Were You Born?

THIS IS PRETTY CLOSE TO DESCRIBING PEOPLE--

Pick the month you're born in and put in the subject line. Forward to friends including the person that sent it to you. They might understand you better.

JANUARY:
--Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking, productive, smart and neat.

--Organized. Sensitive & has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive.

--Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves kids. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn & money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
--Abstract thoughts. Loves reality as well as abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Temperamental, quiet, shy, humble, honest, loyal.

--Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves being aggressive. Too sensitive & easily hurt. Shows anger easily.

--Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring, stubborn and ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure.

--Romantic on the inside but not on the outside. Superstitious, ludicrous, spendthrift. Has to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
--Attractive personality. Affectionate, shy, reserved, secretive. Naturally honest, generous, and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others.

--Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative & returns kindness. Observant & assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize.

--Loves traveling and attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
--Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.

--Consoling, friendly & solves people's problems. Brave, fearless, adventurous, loving, caring, suave and generous. Emotional, aggressive and hasty. Good memory. Moving.

--Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head or chest.

MAY:
--Stubborn, hard-hearted, strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others & loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally.

--Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.

--Sickness usually in ear or neck. Good imagination. Physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature, arts and traveling. Dislikes being at home. Restless. Not having many kids. Hardworking, high-spirited and spendthrift.

JUNE:
--Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Has lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating and tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.

--Temperamental, funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative, daydreamer, friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character.

--Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive, stubborn.

JULY:
--Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest.

--Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful, friendly, approachable, emotional, temperamental, unpredictable and moody. Easily hurt. Witty, sparkly and not revengeful.

--Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive & forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally.

--Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past & old friends.

--Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt and takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
--Loves to joke. Attractive, suave, caring, brave, fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises.

--Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant, careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and be led. Loves to dream.

--Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Has to learn to relax. Hasty, trusty, romantic, loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

SEPTEMBER:
--Suave, compromising, careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm, cool, kind, sympathetic, concerned, detailed, trustworthy and loyal .

--Honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for info. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself.

--Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, esp. in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
--Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things at the center. Attractive and suave. Has both inner and physical beauty. Doesn't lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly.

--Always making friends. Easily hurt and easily recovers. Daydreamer and opinionated. Doesn't care of what others think. Emotional and decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Soft-spoken.

--Loving, caring, romantic and touchy. Easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just, fair and spendthrift. Easily influenced and easily loses confidence. Loves kids.

NOVEMBER:
--Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic personality.

--Secretive and inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave, generous, patient, stubborn and hard-hearted. If there's a will, there's a way. Determined. Never give up.

--Gets angry very quickly. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. High-spirited, well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely.

--Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy, honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable. Created the word "REVENGE."

DECEMBER:
--Loyal, generous, patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient, hasty, ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises, attention and to be loved. Honest and trustworthy.

--Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

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